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30th July 2014


I Was Supposed To Share My Diet Coke With Ibrahim

I Was Supposed To Share My Diet Coke With Ibrahim #ShareACoke

Today, I dropped by one of my favorite pizza joints for lunch. Pizza is one of my most important food groups. It serves as the pinnacle of my personal food pyramid. I grabbed a bottle of Diet Coke to go along with my two slices of cheesy goodness.

It was there, in the pizza joint, I realized that I had a Coke problem.

I Have A (Diet) Coke Problem

And so I sat there, enjoying my pizza and…

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Tagged: bad ideascoca colacomedyhumoribrahimpostaweekshare a cokeworld peace

24th July 2014


Four Hot Rumors About iPhone 6

Four Hot Rumors About iPhone 6


Haven’t stopped writing, just busy with some stuff around the spacious estate. Here’s something I’ve got up on Long Awkward Pause

Originally posted on Long Awkward Pause:

The release date for the iPhone 6, Apple’s latest iteration of its “must have” device, is approaching. The tech company is producing 70-80 million new phones to make sure they can meet the demand when it goes on sale…

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12th July 2014


Predicting The Winner Of The World Cup

Predicting The Winner Of The World Cup


So, yeah, World Cup. I’ve figured out who the winner is going to be. You can bet the farm on my prediction. If you’re smart, you’ll buy a farm today just so you can bet it.

Originally posted on The Nudge Wink Report:

I don’t know much about soccer. There’s a lot of running around; the guy on each team who runs the least gets to use his hands. Everyone in the game is an actor. And when…

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2nd July 2014


Paying $1200 For A Compliment

Paying $1200 For A Compliment

I was on a live television show when I learned that I have a bald spot.

The show wasn’t about me or my hair. I was on a panel, being interviewed about a serious topic. I remember looking at the monitor at one point and thinking “that shot from behind the panel isn’t helping that guy in the blue jacket.” Then I looked down at my sleeve and remembered I had on a blue jacket.

After the show, I asked…

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Tagged: comedyhouse paintershumorkindergarten teacherspostaweekspeaking

24th June 2014


How To Save A Wet iPhone

How To Save A Wet iPhone

Cases protect our iPhones from impact and software helps us find them when they get lost. But there is one enemy that it is nearly impossible to protect our phones from – water. Taking Apple’s masterpiece for a quick dip can turn it from the repository of your life’s information to a very well designed paperweight.

How To Dry Your Phone

There are no life ring apps that keep an iPhone afloat…

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Tagged: AT&TcomedyhumoriPhonepostaweekwhat to do if your iphone falls in water

19th June 2014


Yellow Card, Red Card. Life Gets Less Hard

Yellow Card, Red Card. Life Gets Less Hard

Like so many of us here in the United States, I know so little about soccer. I’m not even sure why our country is the only one which calls the game soccer. Sure, we have a completely different game that we call football, but perhaps we could have compromised on this name thing since all the other cool kids have settled on what to call the sport.

Face it. Most of you don’t really know if he’s got…

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Tagged: comedycurrent eventsfutbolhumorpostaweeksoccer refereesworld cup soccer

18th June 2014


Ask, Ask and Maybe We’ll Answer: Battle of the Pancake Syrups

Ask, Ask and Maybe We’ll Answer: Battle of the Pancake Syrups


Do you ever stay up at night wondering about important stuff like who would win a fight between Aunt Jemima and Mrs. Butterworth? Me neither. I know who would win. Get my take, and four others, over on the Nudge Wink Report

Originally posted on The Nudge Wink Report:

Now that staff performance appraisals are done for another year, it’s time to move on to:

Ask, Ask and Maybe We’ll…

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17th June 2014


The World Cup Jersey Swap

The World Cup Jersey Swap

I don’t know much about the sport, but this seems a silly thing to do (image by MPF cc by sa 3.0)

For the next month, teams representing thirty-two nations will battle for futbol supremacy in the FIFA World Cup. Whenever the World Cup comes around, people like me become soccer fans for the first time since our kids played in the league down at the rec center.

There is one big difference between…

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Tagged: comedycopa mundialexchanging jerseysfutbolhumorpostaweekworld cupworld cup soccer

13th June 2014


If George Bush Did A Parachute Jump

If George Bush Did A Parachute Jump

I don’t think much of politicians. Once you get away from them, I’m really loathe to lump people into a group. But I’m not shy about saying that I don’t think much of people who run for office. I’ve never met a politician who had all the answers. I’ve never known one who didn’t think they were the one who had all the answers.

There are no recorded incidents of George Bush throwing up on the Pope.…

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Tagged: 90th birthdaycomedyGeorge Bush SkydiveGeorge Bush Vomit on Prime Ministerhumorpoliticianspostaweek

11th June 2014


You Remember Uncle Joe. He Was The One Afraid To Cut The Cake.

You Remember Uncle Joe. He Was The One Afraid To Cut The Cake.

Music is something that different people experience in different ways.  Some of us enjoy different styles of music. We’re all moved by the lyrics we hear; those lyrics move us to different places.

Uncle Joe. He was afraid to cut this. (image by roozita ccbysa3.0)

Lyrics are subject to being mis-heard. One of the brightest people I will ever know once believed that Jon Bon Jovi was singing “head…

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Tagged: bob segercomedyfictionhumorpostaweekshort story